a little fun
by Darren on Feb.24, 2009, under Darren
Alright you know this game.  You kill one, you have sex with one and then you never have to see again, and the last you marry but never have sex with.  Give explanations too.
- Michael Moore
- a fart
- Sam’s mom
I’ll go through the comments after two weeks and let you know who wins.
pee
40 comments for this entry:
Leave a Reply
Whitest Kids U’Know
The Comedy Troupe in New York City
February 24th, 2009 on 4:15 pm
Very nice! Ok…..
I would kill a fart…. just so I could say I did. Not ENTIRELY sure how that would work, but hey.
This is harder than I thought. Hm. I would have sex with Michael Moore, just cause I appreciate him, but I could live with never seeing him again.
And lastly I would marry Sam’s mom. Because she is a fancy lady!
That’s all I got.
February 24th, 2009 on 5:16 pm
Kill Michael Moore
>because uhhhh… What would the world be like without Michael Moore?
Sex with a Fart
>How many people do you know have sex with a fart? Yes, that would be disgusting, but you’d never have to do it again, and… I dunno.
and Marry Sam’s Mom
>because Sam would be my step son. hahaha!
February 24th, 2009 on 5:22 pm
i would have sex with a fart and never see it again just for the hell of it.
i would kill michael moore because hes fuck ugly.
i would marry sams mom but never have sex with her because thats just messed up.
February 24th, 2009 on 5:50 pm
I would kill Sam’s mom because she gave birth to such a fuck-up, and thus I would ruin any other chance for another fuck-up being born.
I would fuck Michael Moore and then make a movie about it.
Lastly, I would marry the fart, because after I killed a woman with no rational reason and had sex with one of the most disgusting turds in the world, that would seem the right thing to do.
February 24th, 2009 on 5:52 pm
aw, my answers have been taken. my explanations will differ, i hope.
kill michael moore. this is not because i have anything against him. but it goes against the fabric of my being to ever consider sleeping with him. or marrying him, for that matter. i see enough of that guy around. unless you’re talking about trevor’s father? that complicates things. i will choose to think that you’re talking about the documentarian. makes things so much easier.
sex with a fart. a fart lasts like a second, right? that’s really not too bad. and then you never have to see a fart again. wait. never see again? but i’d probably still hear and smell them. so basically my life would remain unchanged in that aspect.
and finally, marry kathy brown. i wouldn’t want to have sex with her in the first place, and she seems really nice. plus i’d me sam’s dad and i’d get to boss him around. that would be hilarious. and when he got in trouble i’d play the commentary from season one in front of people he knew to embarrass him. that would be a pretty sweet life.
February 24th, 2009 on 6:12 pm
I never thought I would ever ponder having to fuck a fart, but there you go.
February 24th, 2009 on 9:04 pm
I would kill Sam’s Mom, but only metaphorically and with kindness because she seems like such a nice lady and deserving of such a sweet “death”.
I guess I’d have sex with “a fart”, which I’m going to assume is the very unusual name of an arabian prostitute. Not much weirder than “jazeera,” that’s for sure. And while I never “have to” see Afart again, a Thanksgiving dinner invitation would be sent annually.
I’d marry, but never sleep with, Michael Moore. With his money, I’d have nice things. But I’m sure sex is an ordeal because I’ve heard that when he climaxes he yells “poor Flint, Michigan!” and that’s a mood killer.
February 24th, 2009 on 10:18 pm
I’d marry the fart, because a fart could keep annoying people away from me by stinking up the place, so only the kewl kids would mess with me.
I’d have sex with michael moore..because he’s anatomically correct (or at least i hope so)
And I’d kill sam’s mom…with my love?
Yeah I don’t think I could kill her….
February 24th, 2009 on 10:19 pm
I’d fuck them all.
So what do I win?
February 24th, 2009 on 10:38 pm
Personally, the only option here that interests me is marrying Sam’s mom. Normally, I’m not into chicks, but the opportunity of having Sam as a stepson.. oh god the fun I would have.
So then I suppose I’d marry the fart, because I really do not want to be Mrs. Michael Moore, but Mrs. Trevor Moore on the other hand… that has a fantastic ring to it.
So, then I’d kill Michael Moore. twisted fuck
February 24th, 2009 on 11:20 pm
whaaaaaat?
michael moore and farts are both pretty terrible
can’t wait for yalls show in raleigh!
February 25th, 2009 on 12:17 am
okay so I have no freakin’ clue what to really say for these…but oh the fetch well
.
I would kill a fart…because if you think about it…how many people can actualy say “hey dude guess what I did today…I killed a fart!” yeah sure it sounds stupid but I bet if it really happened that it would be funny to see. (for some reason this reminds me of the snl skit of most haunted lol).
I would have sex with Michael Moore just because then I could do my own documentary on how the sex was lol. I could do many other things as well…but I wont be that mean lol.
And I would marry Sam’s mother. Just for the fact that she seems like a pretty rad chick and come on now…who wouldn’t want to marry sam’s mom, besides sam? oh wait a minute…lol..j/k
SO yeah there’s my weird, crazy, insane answers.
February 25th, 2009 on 1:06 am
Fart- I would marry the fart because I love the smell of my own farts. They remind me of Chinese food, and it would be the best way to not have people at my house. Also, whenever I wanted to be left alone it would be right there with me, keeping people away.
Michael Moore- I would bang and never see again. This was actually the easiest choice. The way things work would be entirely based that I’m as awesome in bed as I imagine my left and right hands would say I am. Because I’m so good, Mr. Moore would go crazy because he couldn’t see me ever again, and then he would either kill himself (not bad), or he could live the rest of his days searching high and low for me, and eventually going COMPLETELY insane to the point he would end up living in a mental house smearing his own poop on the wall as he tried to eat himself, starting from the fingers to his torso. He makes it to three fingers off his left hand before he dies.
Sam’s Mother- …This should be obvious. She brought the abomination known as Sam into this world, and now she must be killed so the same mistake can’t be made again. Also, she broke my heart when she never called me back… send Sam’s mom my love!
February 25th, 2009 on 4:18 am
Well first, and most obvious, I’d definitely have sex with Michael Moore. You can’t even pretend he’s not the studliest man alive. Couldn’t marry him though because the sound of his voice makes me want to die.
This leaves Sams mom and a fart. difficult.
I suppose, were it my fart, I’d rather marry it then Sams mom. I mean, no offense to Mrs. Brown, but I know my farts way better and more personally then I could even hope to know her. My farts and I go way back. Sam’s mom is a stranger in comparison.
I guess that mean’s I’d have to kill Sams mom. Thats rough. Sorry man. Take one for the team.
February 25th, 2009 on 4:20 pm
Sex with the fart because…it’d be over like…a fart in the wind?
I’d marry Sam’s Mom but…well there are laws against it currently.
Michael Moore is killing himself anyway so he’s volunteered himself.
February 25th, 2009 on 9:26 pm
Like the others here that have expressed the desire to marry dear Sams mother to be a part of the family – count me in to! I would enjoy sending care packages to Sam on the road, delight in conjuring up Christmas present ideas, and knitting obnoxious holiday sweaters with reindeer and the whitest kids faces.
I would cheer for Sam everytime I see him on t.v. and clap after every performance. I would come to the live shows with orange slices, gatorade, and granola bars like a proper soccer mom with a mini van. Ultimately, I think I would make a fantastic Mrs. Catherine Brown. Now, if only the country allowed for such a thing…
As for a fart, well – I always seem to have ones that kill. Thus, killing a fart is a given for me.
That leaves me with the selection of having sex with Michael Moore but never having to see him again. Unless I produce a killer fart first.
Well, there you go Darren.
Cheers,
- Cat
P.S. – I went to the show in Philly last night. I just wanted to thank you for bringing your A +++ game. Especially during Sexy Fawn.
February 26th, 2009 on 12:27 am
OK here we go
I would kill Michael Moore for being such a douche. Though i don’t really know if he was but I’m gonna say that to justify becoming a murderer.
I’d have sex with a fart and sneak out in the morning, saying I have to go to work. Then I’d call them a day later cuz i can’t follow the three day rule.
I’d marry Sam’s mom because i think she’s classy and classy women deserve to be treated right. Also being Sam’s dad would be hell for him. He would never get dessert again!!!
February 26th, 2009 on 4:56 pm
I’d kill Michael Moore because I think people have suffered enough for their lifetime with Bush.
I’d marry Sam’s mom because she gave birth to Sam and she seems really nice. And plus, I don’t swing that way, so I won’t have to have sex with her.
I’d have sex with the fart because I can tell people I had sex with a fart.
February 27th, 2009 on 2:22 pm
I say you kill michael Moore because his double chin could probably solve world hunger.
you marry but not have sex with sams mom.
and have sex with the fart because it was in your ass, so that’s like gay sex but you never have to ever see it to begin with. it’s like a glory hole minus the awkwardness.
February 28th, 2009 on 12:39 am
this is the best thing i’ve read all day. i need time to think about this one…
February 28th, 2009 on 10:49 am
Kill Michael Moore because you could feed all of Africa Yorkshire pudding with the sheer amount of fat on the guy
Enter a celibate marriage with Sam’s mom because she’s so cool for being Sam’s mom
And then I guess that leaves a one-night stand with a fart. I’m such a conformist.
February 28th, 2009 on 10:11 pm
I’d marry the fart, because then it would just go away and I’d get a nice big ring and not have to deal with a husband.
I’d have sex with Michael Moore. Right after I got done with Richard Simmons.
Sam’s mom is invincible. Enough Said.
March 1st, 2009 on 3:27 am
I really like both Michael Moores
March 1st, 2009 on 3:32 pm
I would have sex with a fart, because when you fart if your sitting in the right position you pretty much have sex with the fart anyways.
Most people have at least one thing about them that would make them worthy of death in a cruel and unfair way. so yeah michael moore deserves to die, along with 1/3 of our population.
Since marriage can be completely platonic and fake I would marry Sam’s mom. Marriage is sometimes a person’s best kept secret, so we wouldn’t have to tell anyone.
March 3rd, 2009 on 2:03 am
I would have sex with the fart, just so no one could ever make fun of my gas again
I would kill Michael Moore just because he’s sooo LEFT! And then I would go find Rush Limbaugh (sp?) and kill him because he’s sooooo RIGHT… and thusly it wuld acheive more balance in the world. And i would totally marry Sam’s Mom even though i’m a chick! Why? 1. We’d never have to have sex. 2. I think she’d make great cookies <3 3. We could have facials and movie night together without the male sarcasm of “Cucumbers on your eyes? I don’t like vegetables, but even I think that’s a waste!” And “Ick, why are we watching this? SOOO GAAAY…” No, we’d cry together, paint nails together, laugh together…. aaah, Sam’s mom, will you marry me? Please?
April 29th, 2009 on 12:44 pm
To start off, I’ll get the whole marriage thing right out of the way. When I get engaged and decide to invite all of my friends to the wedding, I believe it would be great to introduce them to a fart. “Mother, sperm donor, I’d love you to meet fart. We’re terribly in love.”
Kill? I’d definitely kill Michael Moore. Not only because I find all of his movies annoying (not uninformative) but because I don’t think I could stomach having sex with such a fat lard.
Ohay Sam’s mom
I happen to be on the female gender as well and I’d love to hit thatttt. I could do things to you no man could! Sad about never seeing her again… but, oh well. Hit it then quit it.
May 29th, 2009 on 1:17 am
Marry Michael Moore: He’s rich and fat so he’ll probably die soon and you’d be rich. You don’t have to touch him and could just tell people it’s a Chuck and Larry thing or one of his publicity acts for civil rights.
Have sex with a fart: Every have sex with a hot tub? It would be like that, only dirty. Boo-yah!
Kill Sam’s mom: I picture her looking and talking like Sam in the “Loveliest Bride” sketch. If that’s even 10% accurate, then you’re welcome world.
August 17th, 2009 on 9:19 am
I have a few questions-
1.This has been posted a long time. Is this still an open question, or has Michael Moore been fucked? Because I love slopped 2nds.
2.Is Sam’s mom still alive? Because that could affect my answer.
3.Is Michael Moore the guy from Arthur or the guy from 007? Either way, he’s getting fucked.
September 7th, 2009 on 3:12 pm
I would definitely bang the fart because how cool would it be to say “I lost my virginity to a fart”…
I would kill Michael Moore because:http://philosophistry.com/specials/100-people.html …
September 7th, 2009 on 3:22 pm
Yes this is very late…
I would definitely bang the fart because who wouldn’t want to say they lost their virginity to a fart?
I would kill Michael Moore because of this (look at number 1) : http://philosophistry.com/specials/100-people.html
I would marry Mrs. Brown because then I would be Sam’s father and have the power to take 73% of his earnings…
January 5th, 2010 on 10:37 pm
I wanna be a marshmallow when I grow up do I can nosh on all the little children as they once ate my brethren
January 5th, 2010 on 10:39 pm
The “d” ans the “s” are really really clode on my iPod
February 2nd, 2010 on 8:21 pm
I would marry a fart. An old, rich fart. And never have sex with them. In the words of the great Jamie Foxx: she take mah money..!
I would have sex with Sam’s Mom, on mother’s day, because every Mother’s Day needs a Mother’s Night. While I was in his mother, I’d make him another brother.
I would then proceed to kill Michael Moore, for the fame, and because his career is beginning a downhill slide. That way, he gets a cool end to his biography, and my old fart sugardaddy can keep me out of prison.
Et Fin.
March 2nd, 2010 on 9:37 pm
i would fuck micheal moore cuz hes got alotta cushion and it wouldnt suprise me the least if he ends up having a very tight chili ring
i would marry the fart cuz i feel it would be the most faithful of the 3
And id kill sams mom cuz who wouldnt?
August 19th, 2010 on 11:23 pm
Well I would kill Michael Moore not becuse I
don’t like the man but I bet he can get annoying.
I’d fuck Sam’s mom because she probably has a huge dick and I’d marry a fart. Boom.
August 19th, 2010 on 11:25 pm
I would kill Michael Moore, not because I don’t like him and belive in what he says but I bet he can get real annoying. I’d fuck Sam’s mom because she probably has a huge dick and I’d marry a fart. Boom.
February 7th, 2011 on 11:24 am
i have a pretty sweet sketch idea but im not gonna share it with anyone outside the troupe…im sure im not the only 1 who has said it,,,but its a tasty one, i want no credit fer this if the troupe uses it..or maybe i shuld start my own troupe so i can meet n hav a foot in the door to get on with the crew..hmmm what a concept
April 20th, 2011 on 5:16 pm
I’d kill everybody and fuck the fart.
April 28th, 2011 on 6:46 pm
you guys all suck.
July 22nd, 2011 on 1:57 am
Kill em all! LOL